Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
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