Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
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Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
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