People with herpes should wear stickers.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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