I want to walk on stilts...naked
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
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