I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
i think i have two assholes
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
