the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
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