I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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