i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
I want to be your penis for a week.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
