is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
