If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
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