Dude my mom stole all your condoms
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Randomize
