Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Randomize
