A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
drinking out of a sandbucket again
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it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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