she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
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