these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Randomize
