I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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