Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
