I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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