Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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