You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Randomize
