so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Randomize
