he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
