I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
