covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
