In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
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