chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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