In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
