I CAN MOONWALK!
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Randomize
