I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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