My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
