Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
I want to stick my p in your. b.
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
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