yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
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I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Randomize