he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
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i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
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