billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Randomize
