Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
I want a musical about memes.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize
