3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
