My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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