Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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