ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Randomize
