WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Randomize
