apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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