dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
3pm strippers are depressing
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
