I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Randomize
