I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
