she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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