so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
