Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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