Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
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