the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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