i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
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