my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Randomize
