i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
