using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
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