Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
