Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
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