I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Randomize
