Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Randomize
